You Had Kids....How to Design a Beautiful House Without Getting Rid of Them
8 Tips For a Kid Friendly House
Life goes something like this: You graduate from college. You get a solid job. You miraculously climb out of the student loan hole. First home purchased. First home sold. More exciting second home purchased.
Anticipation of finally using that inspiration folder you’ve been keeping for the last 10 years of ripped out Architectural Digest and House Beautiful pages.
After all, you are now a fully formed adult with taste, style and (most importantly) a home improvement/design budget.
They Cute….but they ruin everything.
Then… the double blue line. One baby, two babies, and three (followed shortly by a vasectomy) while your folder sits gathering dust.
There’s no way you can have kids in a beautiful home.
They. Ruin. Everything.
Plus, who knew they needed so much stuff?? You went from Millennial Minimalistic to next in line for being profiled on “Hoarders” in 4.2 years. Giving up just seems like the right thing to do.
But, wait! *Cue tinkling music* Behold: the Fairy Godmother of your design dreams
We’ve got a bag of kid-friendly design tricks that will last longer than midnight and possibly longer than Prince Charming too.
HIDDEN STORAGE Is Key
You’ve got to do something about the piles. Open shelving is not your friend. What 6 year-old is going to neatly stack his books in chromatic order or curate her stuffed animals by height?
Not mine! And probably not yours either.
Fill your home with storage ottomans, lidded bins, cupboards with doors and nightstands with drawers.
That gold table holds a ton of kid crap!
Don’t forget that sometimes you’re hiding things from your children. Examples include remotes, ink pens and the emergency pacifier (not to mention the emergency chocolate). This requires doors + height
PATTERN, COLOR & MOVEMENT
If you’re anything like us, you need to be able to do a 6-minute clutter clear when your mother-in-law calls to say she’s dropping by. Six minutes is not enough time for vacuuming, wiping, sweeping or scrubbing.
This is when you’re going to call and thank us for talking you out of the white tile floor, pinstripe rug and matte blue countertop.
Become friends with patterns of all types: plaids, modern florals, deconstructed stripes, mottled granite, 2” hickory planks, etc.
Toys get lost on this rug. It’s magic.
They can all perform the most amazing optical illusion known to parents – looking clean when they most certainly are not. Check the bottom of your socks for proof.
Wondering how to put this all together without looking like the circus threw up in your house? Look out for our upcoming post on working with patterns!
SOFT CORNERS
First tip: if you have access to a Children’s Hospital they do a wonderful job with forehead stitches, but cost approximately 257x as much as Urgent Care.
Second tip: Urgent Care won’t treat a concussion; they’ll make you drive 100mph to the Children’s Hospital.
Poufs!
Third tip: the coffee table isn’t worth it. There are great alternatives to just about every sharp-edged object you’ve had your eye on.
Think about poufs and ottomans as tables, waterfall edges, radiator covers and fabric covered everything. Your HSA thanks us.
Performance Fabrics
Speaking of fabrics….you do not want to spend the next 18 years of your life staring at that spitup stain. Fortunately the options for materials that repel and resist all the standard kid ammunition are currently endless.
Yes, leather is good. But Sunbrella is better (and cheaper!). Also, have you ever heard of Crypton? We are just blown away by the magic of this textile technology.
On second thought, maybe you can have that white couch or that non-poodle based dog breed… but we woudn’t recommend both. That just seems like laughing at God.
DOORKNOBS For Kids
We’ll make this sweet and simple. If you’d like a chance at privacy to go to the bathroom, get dressed or eat stolen Halloween candy while living with a 15-36 month-old, don’t use lever handles. I’m not sure why schools are so obsessed with STEM education. Kids intuitively understand simple machines.
It’ll take them much longer to learn how to open these.
WHEELS
Only if they lock or you know how to use furniture coasters. Failure to follow this rule will result your favorite coffee table being used as a weapon in the murder of your formerly favorite lamp.
However, if you’ve mastered the lock/coaster technique, wheels can be the key to your success. Especially if your kitchen island can act as a child lock for your beverage cooler.
PATINA
Make it your new favorite word. Choose objects and materials that gain character and depth with every scratch, ding and scuff mark.
This vintage Eames reproduction can handle anything
Wood and leather are shoe-ins for this job. Don’t avoid vintage furniture and décor. They come pre-seasoned! Take a few steps back and you’ll see that small blemishes don’t usually diminish the overall beauty of a piece. Also, teach yourself to not panic: Mr. Clean Magic Eraser is just that – MAGIC.
And finally… PATIENCE
Kenny Rogers had the right idea. Design happiness can come to you if you know when to hold ‘em with the one item you love most and make everything else a sacrifice.
Know when to fold ‘em and accept the lesser but also less breakable version – surprisingly we’ve actually come to love faux plants.
Know when to walk away. Your inspiration folder shouldn’t be recycled just yet.
Some things might just have to wait until retirement.